Inferiority Complex Stricken Australian Prime Minister Anthony Albanese Reportedly Grovelled To US President-elect Donald Trump During A Phone Call To Congratulate Him On His Victory In The Presidential Election
Australian Prime Minister Anthony Albanese reportedly grovelled to Donald Trump during his phone call on November 7, 2024 to congratulate Trump on successfully defrauding the American populace into electing him.
“What is the secret behind your incredible success in deceiving people so effectively? Do you have a special diet?”, a starstruck Albanese asked Trump immediately after introducing himself as “the Australian Prime Minister” and “a greater Trump admirer than that two-faced Dutton”.
“I could tell you but then I’d have to kill you”, Trump reportedly quipped in response, to which Albanese riposted, “Can you tell me but kill Kevin Rudd instead?”
The Australian Ambassador To The US, Kevin Rudd, Has Had A “Problematic” Relationship With Trump Following Instances Of His Virulent Public Criticism Of Trump (Prior To His Appointment); Rudd Had Ostensibly Made The Remarks Complacent In The Notion That Even Americans “Aren’t Crazy Enough To Elect A Fascist, Xenophobic And Misogynistic Village Idiot, Twice!”
The two men reportedly laughed loudly for a couple of minutes following the exchange, after which Albanese declared that Trump’s “great sense of humour” was part of why “all women want him and all men want to be like him”. Albanese also informed Trump that “every time I talk to you, I laugh so hard that it physically hurts”. “Have we spoken before?”, a confused Trump enquired of Albanese, to which Albanese noted, “a few times, actually; however, no one could expect you to remember your meetings with an ordinary Australian bloke with all the glamorous and powerful people like Putin, Kim Jong Un and Musk that you frequently hang out with”.
After exchanging pleasantries the two men reportedly discussed America’s relationship with Australia, and Albanese is reported to have opened the discussion with, “I’ll get straight to the point - Australia is a puny rich white kid living in a rough Chinese neighbourhood; without American protection and trade partnership, our only hope is that the stereotypes regarding Chinese male genitalia are accurate!”. In response, Trump confronted Albanese with - “But what do you have to offer me?”, to which a palpably nervous Albanese replied:
“Well, sir, America has always traded at a surplus with Australia, the American President receives high priority reports from Australian intelligence agencies even before the Australian Prime Minister and through the AUKUS agreement we have committed to paying America handsomely for the privilege of operating its submarines, in accordance with its directions, of course, and acknowledged America’s right to turn our nation into a nuclear waste dump-site.
Moreover, I’ve signed up for a lifetime membership in each of the Trump Golf Resorts, and I don’t even know how to play golf!”
“We are going to be perfect friends”, remarked a notably pleased Trump.
Albanese’s Phone Call With Trump Was The Subject Of Extensive Coverage By Australian Media Outlets
